Last night I had supper with two of my grown up god children and their mum and dad, life long friends and a fairly regular thing. The boys don't wear cycling helmets, it gets a big reaction from their jewish momma a subject of great hilarity with the boys. After a troubled night I wrote the following to them in an email this morning.
"Last night Mum said something that I think has entered the family mythology.
When I had my bike crash and fucked my face up, the initial impact was on the front of my helmet, not my face. The helmet shattered and I was left with bruising from the chin strap and a mild brain bleed, plus the face stuff and a broken jaw.
I know the initial impact was the helmet or the helmet and my nose because I had polystyrene pieces in my scull tissue. The helmet had vaporised, shattered on impact into thousands of polystyrene balls.
That is the third helmet I have trashed through bike accidents in the last 9 years, all of which would probably have had me with some level of brain damage. Hand on heart I don't think any of them were my fault.
Helmets are deeply uncool, uncomfortable, but probably better than the unavoidable alternative. It's the other twat driving the steel box with the reaction times of a tranquillised elephant that's going to get you.
I know it's funny teasing mum but maybe you should just re-consider.
End of lecture, won't mention it again however much I'm thinking about it."
Lots of love
PS Please forward to Sam and Lubydo